Than & Then the Evil Twin Sisters a Bonanza for My Inner Critic

How two small words can wreak big havoc. I’ve checked the definitions 1,000 times but still get confused. Win a year of subscription by solving the riddle!

Image courtesy of the author

July 29, 2024

Hey y’all,

Today’s tale is one for the books, or maybe the linguistic asylum, if there’s such a place. We’re diving deep into the twisted labyrinth that is my dyslexic mind, specifically the evil twin bitches: Then and Than. Yeah, those two little words that somehow manage to make me feel like a damn fool every single day. And guess what? If you solve the riddle at the end, you could win a year’s worth of subscription! So, stick around, laugh with me, and give it a shot!

See, I’ve been dancing this awkward tango with dyslexia for as long as I can remember. English ain’t my mother tongue, and while I’ve managed to wrangle most of the language into submission, Then and Than remain my unrelenting adversaries. They’re like those two evil stepsisters in Cinderella, always causing a ruckus and trying to trip me up.

Imagine this: I’m working on a big project, one that could make or break my reputation as a high-priced freelance contractor. My job isn’t to write, thank the heavens for that, but perception is a beast. If I can’t string together a sentence correctly, why should they trust me with million-dollar decisions? It’s like they’re saying, “If this guy can’t figure out Then and Than, he’ll probably screw up the budget, too.” Harsh? Maybe. But it’s the reality I face.

And here’s the kicker. I look up these words at least twice a week. Every damn week. You’d think I’d have it down by now, but nope. My brain just doesn’t want to compute. It’s like having a personal troll living in my head, constantly whispering, “You’re getting it wrong again, dumbass.” similar to the “did you switch off the stove”, voice. Talk about a confidence killer.

The funny thing is, most of the time, I do get it right. But it’s the doubt, that nagging, relentless doubt that eats away at me. It’s like, “Did I use the right one? Will they notice? Am I gonna look like a complete idiot?” It’s a vicious cycle, and it’s exhausting. And don’t even get me started on spell check. PowerPoint and email spell check are about as useful as a chocolate teapot. They let all sorts of crap slip through. So, my latest trick? I PDF my slides and run them through OpenAI. It’s like having a trusty sidekick who catches all my mistakes without judging me.

But enough of that, let’s have a little fun. Fill in the blanks with ‘then’ or ‘than’, send it via DM and win a year’s worth of subscription (subscribed readers only):

In a world where we measure more _______ we treasure,

And time flies by faster _______ birds of a feather,

I met a tall man who was taller _______ Dan,

He said, “Life’s a more complex puzzle _______ a plan.”

First we laugh, and _______ we cry,

_______ we wave our fears goodbye.

It’s better to be joyful _______ to frown,

So let’s turn this whole town upside down!

_______ came a cat, more curious _______ mice,

He chased his tail _______ ate some rice.

It’s funnier to watch _______ you might think,

As he rolled around and knocked over ink.

_______ the dog joined in the game,

Who was faster _______ a speeding train?

They raced and played, _______ took a nap,

On a cozy, comfy, knitted lap.

“Better late _______ never,” said the wise old owl,

Who hooted softly, _______ began to howl.

“If you mix up ‘then’ and ‘than’,

You might confuse more _______ one man.”

So long, have a good day

Walter

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Current Books in Parallel Reading:

• Atomic Habits by James Clear

• Pyramid of Success by Coach Wooden

• Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle

Habits I’m Working On:

• Fitness & Health: More sports, healthy eating, no junk food, lots of veggies, and less sugar. Aim: Sports 4 times a week (weights and running).
Mindset: I’m a runner and I’m healthy.
Status: yes 30 min run this morning

• Dental Health: Flossing daily to avoid crowns and root canals.
Mindset: I have healthy teeth and I don’t hear the drill sound anymore
Status: damn still missing the floss… need to buy tomorrow

• Writing: Practice, practice, practice—daily diary entries, no excuses.
Mindset: yes getting better at it…

• Weight: 112 kg (still still no scale)
Mindset: I’m a healthy and control my weight to feel better

Consecutive Days Posting on Walter’s Diary:

Twenty (20)