Dyslexia: Interview with Chuck – My Own Mother Gave Up on Me
Read Chuck’s story and learn how a late diagnosis led to frustration, anger and resentment that nobody seemed to care about him and he wished it would have been different.
Chuck struggled his entire educational journey. He only discovered he had dyslexia in his junior year of college. Up until that point, he simply believed he wasn’t “book smart.” Reading was a challenge he had to overcome by cutting corners and accepting lower grades. Curiosity led him to take an assessment at the campus learning center, and that was when the pieces finally started fitting together. As Chuck recalls, “I always thought it was because I wasn't very 'book smart'. I navigated through school, but I had to cut corners and deal with lower grades. It was mainly because I never had enough time to get the work done.”
The discovery that he had dyslexia was a tremendous relief for him. Dyslexia had negatively impacted his self-image and confidence because he didn’t understand the reason why reading and writing was so difficult for him. Learning that his brain just worked differently allowed him to embrace his condition and finally see that he wasn’t dumb. He felt also disappointed by the diagnosis. “The discovery of my dyslexia was a huge relief for me. I just didn’t know what was wrong with me, and my self-image and confidence was severely impacted.,” Chuck shared. “I was a little disappointed no one ever made this connection before. It would have made growing up a little easier.”
Chuck’s childhood was tough for him with his undiagnosed dyslexia. He had the typical symptoms, his writing was full of mistakes and he couldn’t read well. These struggles led to poor grades and a reputation as a distraction in class. Surprisingly, Chuck preferred staying in during recess to finish assignments because it gave him the extra time he needed. He found ways to get by, often receiving remarks from teachers that he was smart but didn’t apply himself. “My grades suffered. I gave up trying and became a distraction to the other students. I secretly liked being forced to stay in at recess to finish my assignments because it gave me the extra time I needed,” he admitted.
When Chuck finally learned about his dyslexia, his mother was confused, seemingly having a different memory of his school experience. This reaction wasn’t very encouraging for Chuck, who felt his own mother had accepted he wasn’t as smart as others. “My mom was confused, apparently she had a different memory of my school experience than I did. It wasn't very encouraging to think my own mother just accepted I wasn't as smart as other people,” Chuck revealed. His brother, who had ADHD, assumed Chuck already knew something was different and had figured it out long ago. Unfortunately, Chuck never received professional help beyond the initial assessment.
Chuck's primary strategy for managing his dyslexia was avoidance. He deliberately chose situations where his learning disability wouldn’t be a weakness and focused on his strengths instead. When avoidance wasn’t possible, he ensured he took extra time to read and respond accurately. “Avoidance is the biggest tool I use to address my dyslexia. I try to avoid situations where my learning disability is a weakness. Instead, I focus on things I know I'm good at and make sure I excel in those,” he explained. Audiobooks became a game-changer for Chuck, allowing him to enjoy stories without the struggle of reading words. “I've read so many books in my adult life I never would have attempted when I was younger. I always thought I didn't like reading. Turns out I just don't like looking at words.”
Dyslexia significantly influenced Chuck’s career path. He chose to become a police officer, a role that emphasizes verbal and in-person communication over extensive reading or writing. By focusing on a career that didn’t require advanced degrees, Chuck found a profession where he could excel despite his dyslexia. “My career (police officer) focuses on my verbal and in-person communication skills. I have developed my abilities to articulate clearly. I focus on my strengths and work on my weaknesses when necessary,” he said.
Chuck’s advice to those newly diagnosed with dyslexia is simple yet powerful: "You are not dumb; your brain is just wired differently. Take advantage of the tools and assistance available, learn what works for you, and use those skills to excel."
Chuck wants people without dyslexia to understand that dyslexics often develop unique problem-solving abilities. They think differently, which can sometimes be the exact answer to a problem others might face. “Don't underestimate us. We dyslexics have often learned alternate ways to solve similar problems. We think differently, not better or worse. Sometimes being able to think around the box is the exact answer to a problem you might be facing.”
The late diagnosis of Chuck’s dyslexia impacted his whole journey to adulthood. It left him angry and frustrated and he wished that someone made the connection earlier. However, he managed to live with his disability and started the reflection process, he also focused on his strength and avoided paper heavy work.
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