Are You Gambling with Your Life? My Brutally Honest Colonoscopy Story
Learn how a colonoscopy could save your life as I candidly and humorously recount my own experience, urging everyone over 40 to take action against colon cancer.
July 31, 2024
Well, folks, today I’m diving deep into a subject that’s near and dear to my…well, near and dear to my rear. Let’s talk colonoscopies! Now, before you clench up and run for the hills, let me assure you that this is gonna be a wild ride, and if you’re over 40, it’s a journey you need to take.
First off, did you hear the FDA just approved a blood test for screening colon cancer? Yep, you heard right. It’s a step forward, but it doesn’t replace the granddaddy of them all – the colonoscopy. The blood test catches about 83% of colon cancers but only 13% of those pesky early polyps. So, you still need to brave the rod-up-your-butthole thing. And let me tell you, it’s one heck of an adventure.
Did you know that it’s estimated 50,000 Americans will die of colon cancer in 2024? That’s a staggering number. The Standard American Diet (SAD) is doing us no favors either, packed with processed, fiber-free junk. The correlation between diet and cancer is as clear as a sunny Miami sky. But I’m not here to lecture you on diet – let’s be real, changing what you eat is as hard as convincing Roy Kent to crack a smile.
So why am I here? To share my own colonoscopy saga. A few months ago, after years of saying, “I’ll do it in the next six months,” I finally bit the bullet. Now, with cancer running rampant in my family – prostate, cervix, melanoma, colon – I knew I had to do it. My granddad caught his prostate cancer early and lived till 95. My aunt, on the other hand, ignored screenings and died within two months of a stage 4 cervix cancer diagnosis. Dad battled melanoma for a decade before it claimed him. And Mom? She got lucky with a stage 3 colon cancer that didn’t spread.
So, with all that in mind and being over 40, I got myself a GP referral and an appointment with a specialist. The wait was four to six months, but I managed to get in a bit earlier thanks to a waitlist. The days leading up to D-day, or as I like to call it, “Rod-Butthole-Looki-Looki” (RBLL) day, were a blast. Two days before, I had to go on a light diet. One day before, it was all about laxatives. And folks, let me tell you, it was a volcanic experience. I spent more time on the toilet than a teenager on their phone.
RBLL day was here. No food, just water. I was nervous. Would they find something? I’m a high-risk case. And before I went mostly vegan seven years ago, I was a heavy meat eater. Bacon, eggs, chicken, steak – you name it. But off I went to the hospital. Everyone was professional and kind. They guided me through every step. The worst part? Getting the needle for anaesthesia.
Next thing I know, I’m counting to ten…and then waking up in another room. Nothing hurt. The doc came in, said all was clean – no polyps. We’ll do it again in five years. Relief washed over me. Sure, it’s weird to think someone had a camera up my smokestack, but it was worth it.
Awkward moments? Sure. Worth it? Absolutely. If you’re over 40, just do it. It might save your life. If this story gets one person to book a colonoscopy, then it was worth sharing.
So, folks, when’s your next colonoscopy? Let’s tackle this head-on, or should I say, butt-first.
Eat healthy and get screened,
Walter
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Current Books in Parallel Reading:
Atomic Habits by James Clear
Pyramid of Success by Coach Wooden
Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Habits I’m Working On:
• Fitness & Health: More sports, healthy eating, no junk food, lots of veggies, and less sugar. Aim: Sports 4 times a week (weights and running).
Mindset: I’m a runner and I’m healthy.
Status: not today did some gymnastic this morning
• Dental Health: Flossing daily to avoid crowns and root canals.
Mindset: I have healthy teeth and I don’t hear the drill sound anymore
Status: no joy the 2nd
• Writing: Practice, practice, practice—daily diary entries, no excuses.
Mindset: nice next story I think - comments? Pulled it right out of my butt
• Weight: 112 kg (still still no scale)
Mindset: Will go on the scale tomorrow
Consecutive Days Posting on Walter’s Diary:
Twenty-Two (22)